You can say I numbed all my feelings to the point where they don’t hurt me. You can say that I made a brick wall to block my most hated emotions. You can say that it’s hard for me to vent/ rant to people about major problems. You can say that I have veiled myself from the universal truth or have refused to believe it. One half wants me to roll up in a ball and cry back to sleep and the other half wants to beat that side of me up for being such a damn baby.